February 25, 2004

Sunday, September 14, 2014

What I would tell the mom grieving her baby.

Hi baby girl,

I just read on Facebook that another sweet angel joined you recently because of VOGM. I'm sure you have met. I read what her momma and daddy write and my heart breaks for them. I know their pain, so close and so real. It makes me think of you and our time together. This little angel blessed her parents with a beautiful month, just like you blessed us.

So many times in the past 10 years I have spoken to and walked with and prayed for parents and grandparents who have lost a sweet child. Each time I shudder at the memory of the pain. There is nothing I can do for them to ease the pain and in the end they won't want it eased anyway. Because one thing we don't talk about is how the pain is really a blessing. I can't even really explain it.

If I could talk to this mom, I would tell her that it's ok to be mad. It is ok to hurt and to cry and to scream and to ask God why. He is not afraid of our emotions, He created them. The thing we have to try to figure out how to do is to still trust Him in the midst of all that doesn't make sense. Faith doesn't mean we understand everything He allows, it just means we trust Him even when we don't understand.

I would tell her that I don't know why babies have to die but I don't think it was really God's plan in the beginning. He wanted us to live eternally with Him, but we chose to rebel from His plan and now we have to have sickness and death. But I do know that if we put our trust in Him, we will have that eternal communion with Him and all those who also trust Him.

I would tell her that she will smile again, and she will even laugh. It will be a long while before that happens. One day, she will look at pictures and her heart will ache but it will be a sweet ache of the beautiful time she had with her sweet angel.

I would tell her that some day she will be able to reach out and offer comfort to another momma who is grieving the same way. It will be scary and it will hurt and she will feel inadequate but the opportunity will come. And after, she will see a small glimpse of the purpose for her own pain.

Of course I don't know this momma and only heard of her on Facebook. But these are the things I would tell her, if I did know her.

Say hello and tell her all about what it is like there. I look forward to meeting her and seeing you again when the time comes.

I love you baby girl.

Mommy <3